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connielane at 08:50am on 01/06/2006
connielane at 08:50am on 01/06/2006I'm told it's "Ginny Appreciation Week," and there are a couple of interesting LJ posts about Ginny here and here. The latter is decidedly un-Ginny-friendly, but it still raises some interesting questions, even if the OP doesn't really want to hear opposing viewpoints. I've commented on both of these entries, but I wanted to expand my thoughts on the second one in a post of my own, because there are apparently a lot of strongly held opinions on this.
There seems to be a widespread assumption in certain corners that the above statement is clear evidence that Ginny, on encouragement from Hermione, used both Michael and Dean - and possibly Neville - to make Harry notice/like her. This belief might seem to be bolstered by the fact that, in HBP, Hermione apparently does use a boy specifically to get a reaction out of the guy she likes. But I would argue that this is not the case - that people who believe this are oversimplifying the situation.
First, I think what Ginny tells us of Hermione's counsel is actually at least two separate bits of advice:
Tip #1: Get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax around Harry.
Tip #2: Harry might take a bit more notice if Ginny is more "herself."
Now, the first thing that must be noted is that Tip #2 is the only bit of Hermione's advice that comes with the addendum of "Harry will/might notice you [if you do this]." Tip #1 does not. We're not hearing "If you date other people, maybe Harry will sit up and take notice." (Side Note: I've never understood what is so abhorrent about that in the first place, but that's a whole 'nother discussion.) So Tip #2 is actually the most important bit of advice. It's the one that, according to Hermione, is going to lead to the desired result and make both Ginny and Harry happy.
The next thing - and this is very important - is that, as things stand when Hermione gives this advice, Tip #2 is irrelevant and meaningless without Tip #1. In other words, before this advice is given, Ginny is NOT (and CANnot) be herself around Harry. She is defined (and defines herself) by her crush on Harry, and it's keeping her from having any kind of meaningful interaction with him. Interaction the lack of which makes a relationship of any kind (much less a romantic one) impossible. So nothing is going to happen between Harry and Ginny as long as she is still "Ron's little sister who has a crush on Harry."
So if Tip #2 is useless, because of Ginny's crush, which renders her essentially nonexistant to Harry, what's a girl supposed to do? Wait around for him to get hit in the head with an anvil and finally wake up to how perfect Ginny is for him (even though the aforementioned nonexistance makes that pretty impossible)? Wait around for some freak accident to throw them together?
NO! What kind of life - what kind of teenage-dom?! - would that be for a young, desirable girl?
Cue Tip (ha!) #1. The most effective way for Ginny to be more herself is to get out of the crush mode. That is the essence of Tip #1 - not to date other people to make Harry notice, not to use other guys to get experience - simply to get out of the crush mode and "move on with [her] life." To actually HAVE a life. Because dude, even if Ginny did manage to hook up with Harry without Tip #1, she still would have been defined by the crush. She would have been the little girl who pined away for Harry and had no other experiences in her adolescence to speak of, aside from her awkward steps toward romance with Harry. That is NO way for a teenaged girl - for any female - to live.
So Hermione advises her to move on, to become less focused on Harry. "A watched pot never boils," and by moving on Ginny will create two positive possibilities for herself: 1)She enjoys herself and has fun with some other guys - as a teenaged girl should - and eventually Harry comes around; OR 2)She enjoys herself and has fun with other guys and Harry doesn't come around. And if it's the second possibility, that's okay, because she hasn't wasted all this time moping about it. She's made a life of her own, and perhaps during the time she's spent with other guys, it turns out she likes one of them even more than she ever liked Harry. So moving on creates a win/win situation.
Another important detail about Hermione's advice to go out with other people is the word I bolded above - "maybe." This is not the only means to an end. It is simply one that can be utilized, and one which Ginny - as an attractive female - has at her disposal. It is a suggestion that Ginny happens to follow, nothing more. I find all the sinister talk about "using" and "manipulation" to be quite silly. As if women of all ages haven't been employing such methods for centuries - occasionally to great effect, I might add.
But already I can hear the Bad Messages For Girls Brigade at my heels, crying "It's irresponsible! JKR shouldn't be encouraging that kind of behavior! Women should be better than that!" To which I say, better than what? A person who wants romance in their life and isn't afraid or ashamed to go out and get it? But wait - now I hear the Society for the Protection of Wooby Ex-Boyfriends knocking on my door. "What about Michael and Dean? Don't their feelings matter?" To which I say that Ginny was decent to both of them until she decided they were no longer what she wanted - a decision, may I add, that had nothing (either time) to do with her feelings for Harry.
There is nothing wrong with dating someone while having unrequited feelings for someone else. I can't help but think that no one would have had a problem with her "using" Michael and Dean if she had never gotten together with Harry. I strongly suspect that Ginny's methods for "getting" Harry would have been A-OK if they hadn't worked. And that really gets on my nerves - the idea that she's a bitch for getting what she wanted. Excuse me if that just sounds like bitterness to me. Whoops!--I said that was a whole 'nother discussion, didn't I? :P
The second bit of Tip #1 is that Ginny should relax around Harry. Ginny explains what this specifically means by reminding Harry (and the reader) that she never used to be able to talk around him. This, more so than the advice about dating other guys, I think, is the true means Hermione is suggesting in her counsel to Ginny. And unlike the suggestion of seeing other guys, it is directly related to her being "a bit more -- [herself]." Of course, as with Tip #2, relaxing around Harry is not an option as long as she is debilitated by her crush on him.
So she needs to do something that will alow her to loosen up, to feel appreciated as a girl so that she won't be worrying about what Harry thinks of her. As I've said above, she basically had two choices. She could either sit back and be miserable until Harry decided to glance her way, or she could take an interest in other boys and hope that her feelings for Harry (if they were to remain unreturned) would eventually go away. Sadly, in the eyes of many fans, this makes her "damned if she does, damned if she doesn't." If she simply pines away for him for ages until he wakes up and smells the Amortentia, she's pathetic; if she moves on to someone else and then Harry decides he likes her, then she's a meanie who was just leading someone on. But, again, we have to ask ourselves if any of this would even be an issue with Ginny's detractors if she simply didn't "get the guy." It's almost as if some people feel she cheated at "getting" him.
I don't think that Ginny really did anything wrong in her relationships with Michael, Dean, or Harry - at least, nothing that hasn't been done by pretty much everyone with regard to the opposite sex at some point in their lives. Her relationships with Michael and Dean seem like fairly typical teenage romances to me. And if she was truly using them to get Harry's attention, she wasn't doing a very good job of it, because Harry didn't even know Ginny was seeing Michael until Hermione told him - MONTHS after they started dating. Not very efficient. As for Dean, she never flaunted their relationship to Harry either, except to casually mention that she had promised to sit with him on the train to school. And it certainly wasn't her intention for Harry and Ron to happen upon her makeout session with Dean. I just don't see the puppet strings here, either with Ginny's own behavior or JKR's in writing that behavior.
Admittedly, I am a huge fan of Ginny. She's my favorite non-Trio character, and as such the harsh judgements I've seen made against her since OotP was released are so far removed from my experience of the HP books that I often find it difficult to respond to them in politeness (and, in fact, have occasionally responded with just the opposite). I do understand that she may not be everyone's cup of tea, and that some of her actions, particularly in HBP, make some fans bristle. But I disagree that she should be seen - or that she is somehow being protrayed by the author - as some manipulative maneater who is fundamentally wretched. She's just ... not.
"I never really gave up on you," she said. "Not really. I always hoped. ...Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more -- myself. (HBP, ch. 30)
There seems to be a widespread assumption in certain corners that the above statement is clear evidence that Ginny, on encouragement from Hermione, used both Michael and Dean - and possibly Neville - to make Harry notice/like her. This belief might seem to be bolstered by the fact that, in HBP, Hermione apparently does use a boy specifically to get a reaction out of the guy she likes. But I would argue that this is not the case - that people who believe this are oversimplifying the situation.
First, I think what Ginny tells us of Hermione's counsel is actually at least two separate bits of advice:
Tip #1: Get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax around Harry.
Tip #2: Harry might take a bit more notice if Ginny is more "herself."
Now, the first thing that must be noted is that Tip #2 is the only bit of Hermione's advice that comes with the addendum of "Harry will/might notice you [if you do this]." Tip #1 does not. We're not hearing "If you date other people, maybe Harry will sit up and take notice." (Side Note: I've never understood what is so abhorrent about that in the first place, but that's a whole 'nother discussion.) So Tip #2 is actually the most important bit of advice. It's the one that, according to Hermione, is going to lead to the desired result and make both Ginny and Harry happy.
The next thing - and this is very important - is that, as things stand when Hermione gives this advice, Tip #2 is irrelevant and meaningless without Tip #1. In other words, before this advice is given, Ginny is NOT (and CANnot) be herself around Harry. She is defined (and defines herself) by her crush on Harry, and it's keeping her from having any kind of meaningful interaction with him. Interaction the lack of which makes a relationship of any kind (much less a romantic one) impossible. So nothing is going to happen between Harry and Ginny as long as she is still "Ron's little sister who has a crush on Harry."
So if Tip #2 is useless, because of Ginny's crush, which renders her essentially nonexistant to Harry, what's a girl supposed to do? Wait around for him to get hit in the head with an anvil and finally wake up to how perfect Ginny is for him (even though the aforementioned nonexistance makes that pretty impossible)? Wait around for some freak accident to throw them together?
NO! What kind of life - what kind of teenage-dom?! - would that be for a young, desirable girl?
Cue Tip (ha!) #1. The most effective way for Ginny to be more herself is to get out of the crush mode. That is the essence of Tip #1 - not to date other people to make Harry notice, not to use other guys to get experience - simply to get out of the crush mode and "move on with [her] life." To actually HAVE a life. Because dude, even if Ginny did manage to hook up with Harry without Tip #1, she still would have been defined by the crush. She would have been the little girl who pined away for Harry and had no other experiences in her adolescence to speak of, aside from her awkward steps toward romance with Harry. That is NO way for a teenaged girl - for any female - to live.
So Hermione advises her to move on, to become less focused on Harry. "A watched pot never boils," and by moving on Ginny will create two positive possibilities for herself: 1)She enjoys herself and has fun with some other guys - as a teenaged girl should - and eventually Harry comes around; OR 2)She enjoys herself and has fun with other guys and Harry doesn't come around. And if it's the second possibility, that's okay, because she hasn't wasted all this time moping about it. She's made a life of her own, and perhaps during the time she's spent with other guys, it turns out she likes one of them even more than she ever liked Harry. So moving on creates a win/win situation.
Another important detail about Hermione's advice to go out with other people is the word I bolded above - "maybe." This is not the only means to an end. It is simply one that can be utilized, and one which Ginny - as an attractive female - has at her disposal. It is a suggestion that Ginny happens to follow, nothing more. I find all the sinister talk about "using" and "manipulation" to be quite silly. As if women of all ages haven't been employing such methods for centuries - occasionally to great effect, I might add.
But already I can hear the Bad Messages For Girls Brigade at my heels, crying "It's irresponsible! JKR shouldn't be encouraging that kind of behavior! Women should be better than that!" To which I say, better than what? A person who wants romance in their life and isn't afraid or ashamed to go out and get it? But wait - now I hear the Society for the Protection of Wooby Ex-Boyfriends knocking on my door. "What about Michael and Dean? Don't their feelings matter?" To which I say that Ginny was decent to both of them until she decided they were no longer what she wanted - a decision, may I add, that had nothing (either time) to do with her feelings for Harry.
There is nothing wrong with dating someone while having unrequited feelings for someone else. I can't help but think that no one would have had a problem with her "using" Michael and Dean if she had never gotten together with Harry. I strongly suspect that Ginny's methods for "getting" Harry would have been A-OK if they hadn't worked. And that really gets on my nerves - the idea that she's a bitch for getting what she wanted. Excuse me if that just sounds like bitterness to me. Whoops!--I said that was a whole 'nother discussion, didn't I? :P
The second bit of Tip #1 is that Ginny should relax around Harry. Ginny explains what this specifically means by reminding Harry (and the reader) that she never used to be able to talk around him. This, more so than the advice about dating other guys, I think, is the true means Hermione is suggesting in her counsel to Ginny. And unlike the suggestion of seeing other guys, it is directly related to her being "a bit more -- [herself]." Of course, as with Tip #2, relaxing around Harry is not an option as long as she is debilitated by her crush on him.
So she needs to do something that will alow her to loosen up, to feel appreciated as a girl so that she won't be worrying about what Harry thinks of her. As I've said above, she basically had two choices. She could either sit back and be miserable until Harry decided to glance her way, or she could take an interest in other boys and hope that her feelings for Harry (if they were to remain unreturned) would eventually go away. Sadly, in the eyes of many fans, this makes her "damned if she does, damned if she doesn't." If she simply pines away for him for ages until he wakes up and smells the Amortentia, she's pathetic; if she moves on to someone else and then Harry decides he likes her, then she's a meanie who was just leading someone on. But, again, we have to ask ourselves if any of this would even be an issue with Ginny's detractors if she simply didn't "get the guy." It's almost as if some people feel she cheated at "getting" him.
I don't think that Ginny really did anything wrong in her relationships with Michael, Dean, or Harry - at least, nothing that hasn't been done by pretty much everyone with regard to the opposite sex at some point in their lives. Her relationships with Michael and Dean seem like fairly typical teenage romances to me. And if she was truly using them to get Harry's attention, she wasn't doing a very good job of it, because Harry didn't even know Ginny was seeing Michael until Hermione told him - MONTHS after they started dating. Not very efficient. As for Dean, she never flaunted their relationship to Harry either, except to casually mention that she had promised to sit with him on the train to school. And it certainly wasn't her intention for Harry and Ron to happen upon her makeout session with Dean. I just don't see the puppet strings here, either with Ginny's own behavior or JKR's in writing that behavior.
Admittedly, I am a huge fan of Ginny. She's my favorite non-Trio character, and as such the harsh judgements I've seen made against her since OotP was released are so far removed from my experience of the HP books that I often find it difficult to respond to them in politeness (and, in fact, have occasionally responded with just the opposite). I do understand that she may not be everyone's cup of tea, and that some of her actions, particularly in HBP, make some fans bristle. But I disagree that she should be seen - or that she is somehow being protrayed by the author - as some manipulative maneater who is fundamentally wretched. She's just ... not.