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connielane at 05:59pm on 05/02/2018 under travel
connielane at 05:59pm on 05/02/2018 under travelNearly six months later, and I finally finished my write-up.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30
I did not start this vacation in the best of moods. One of my roommates had just moved out, the other was coming back that night after being gone for a few months, and I was having to do last minute clean-up. Plus, the elevator was out, so I couldn't take the trash down to the alley -- *and* the elevator outage meant I had to lug my luggage down the stairs and try not to fall (a fear I have long had after falling down the last few stairs several years ago).
So I was later than I wanted to be in heading out the door, but I consoled myself with the fact that I wouldn't have to wait as long in Gate Purgatory. As I had worked the overnight shift and hadn't been to sleep in many hours, I slept most of the flight. There was a short layover in Kansas City and I learned the hard way that you shouldn't really leave the immediate gate area (I ended up having to go through security again). I got to Las Vegas on schedule and was as bemused as ever that McCarran airport is basically another casino (only without the lingering stench of cigarette smoke). And this was my favorite sign EVER.
Welcome to Vegas, yo.
I got some cash out of the ATM and started the arduous process of picking up the rental car. I mean, it's not *that* bad, but I always groan when I have to take a shuttle to a whole other facility to pick up a car. The woman at the Alamo desk was very chatty and friendly and upgraded my rental from a compact to a standard. I was also pleased to see that Alamo has upped its GPS game since I last rented one of those. They have those fancy mini-tablets now. I am endlessly glad I sprang for the GPS. It was super annoying trying to use it in Las Vegas (kept trying to get me on I-15 when it would have been simpler just to go down the Strip), but I never would have survived the Grand Canyon excursion without it.
I had a choice between a few cars. I skipped over the first, which had a Massachusetts license plate (surely a one-way rental), and went for the little black Kia Soul. On the drive to Caesars Palace, where I would be staying that night, I naturally had some Vegas-themed music playing -- Elvis, Frank, Dean, Sammy, Ella, Eartha. And I managed to get a half-decent moving shot of the "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign while driving, which was no small feat.
I made my way into the Caesars Palace parking lot and marveled at how technology has improved in small ways to make the process of parking in such a huge garage a little less of a nightmare. Not every lot is like this, but the larger casinos/resorts have green/red lights above each parking space, so you can see from a distance where one is empty (haha, tiny cars, you can't fool me anymore!). They also keep track of how many spaces are available, so you'll see a sign that says there are, say, 84 spaces if you turn right, etc. This may not be that new to anyone else who drives more regularly than a couple times a year, but I was thrilled.
I hadn't yet learned the lesson of parking close to the elevator (though I *did* remember to take a picture of what section I was in with my phone), so it was a long trek to the elevator bank connecting to the hotel. Then I had an even longer trek around the dang casino and shops and restaurants and what-not trying to find the front desk. I also quickly learned that my new suitcase (I finally invested in one of those hard-case four-wheel dealies) was pretty much useless on carpet. It was WAY harder than it should have been to push that thing around! Though I'm sure it would have been worse with the two-wheeled kind (or no-wheeled kind -- gah, how did we ever manage with those things?!).
So I got to the line at the front desk and was confronted with an uncomfortable sight. Some woman, who I could only imagine had accidentally locked herself out of her room, was standing there in only a tank top and underwear. And I don't mean boxers -- that might have been slightly less embarrassing for her. I couldn't quite stop thinking about how humiliating it must have been for her to walk through that enormous, crowded casino floor to the desk wearing so little, and how a lot of people must have been thinking it was just a Vegas thing and she was doing it on purpose to get attention or whatever.
Once I'd gotten my keys, I made another long trudge (I'm running out of synonyms for "walk") up to my room in the Forum Tower, thankful that the desk clerk had given me a restaurant called "searsucker" (lower case intentional) as a signpost. I'd booked one of the cheapest rooms, but it was still pretty nice. Good bathroom, with one of my favorite amenities -- the toilet in its own room. The view was also pretty great (and even better at night), which I suspect is NOT the case with a lot of those cheaper rooms. (In fact, having looked at several travel sites, I know it's not.) I took a much-needed shower, got dressed in the "dressiest" outfit I'd brought (meaning a nice top and slacks instead of jeans) and headed down to the Bacchanal Buffet.
This was by far the most expensive meal of my trip. In addition to the cost of the buffet itself, I also splurged for the privilege of skipping the line (#worthit). The Bacchanal is THE buffet on the Strip. There's obviously an appeal in the super cheap buffets that you see everywhere, but the Bacchanal is on another level. The food is all fresh made, and nothing has been sitting under the heat lamps for ages -- everything gets swapped out so it's all fresh. Some notable dishes that I partook of -- sweet potato tater tots, prime rib, and a fresh-made al pastor taco. My most pleasant surprise was the pan-seared salmon. I'm not a huge fan of salmon in general, but this was amazing -- falling apart and melting in your mouth.
After three trips, plus a dessert trip, I was about to pop and -- not to get too TMI -- was quite grateful for the bathroom that was just outside the entrance to the buffet. I walked around the shops for a while (longer than I wanted to because it is nigh impossible to find an exit -- it was like Hotel California) and eventually found a way out.
Once I managed toescape find an exit onto the Strip, I headed over to the LINQ hotel, which is home to the High Roller -- the tallest observation wheel in the world (suck it, London Eye!). I'd already bought a ticket online, but I was not to experience the High Roller that night. Thunderstorms had led to its temporary closure, but I was assured that I could use my ticket as long as I came back within the next 30 days. So I'd have to catch it on the flipside.
Not wanting to go back through the promenade, I wandered around the backside of the LINQ, through parking garages and such -- probably a bunch of places I wasn't supposed to be walking -- until I found a monorail station. I had a little checklist of things I wanted to see, several of which were suggested by a local, and one of them was at the MGM Grand. So off I went.
It took a good bit of walking around the MGM casino to find what I was looking for, and I wasn't confident that I could adequately describe it to a hotel employee so that they could point me in the right direction. It had clearly been a while since I'd been on a casino floor (other than earlier in the day, of course) because I kept marveling at how much of pop culture was represented in the slots and other electronic games -- Wonder Woman, Titanic, Breaking Bad, Big Bang Theory, etc. Finally I found what I was looking for.
It's an old-school electronic horse race game. You bet 25 cents on a combination of horses, and if those two finish in the first two places, you win. I won a buck and a half and considered my trip a success. Then promptly lost 50 cents of it on the Wonder Woman slot. :P
I spent the next hour or so trying to get good photo ops on the Strip -- I still can't seem to take good pictures at night -- and before boarding the monorail back to Caesars, I got a New York Seltzer out one of the machines. Once I was back in my room, I turned on the tv for about 10 minutes and watched the end of Julie & Julia before finally dropping off to sleep.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 31
I woke up pretty early because I had a very specific place I wanted to go to for breakfast, which was a bit out of the way, and I had a significant drive ahead of me (and would lose an hour to a new time zone in the process). I was very pleased to be able to check out of my room over the phone, saving me yet another journey to the front desk. And I was on my way only a *little* behind schedule.
So it may seem silly, but I always try to go to the JW Marriott when I'm in Las Vegas and have breakfast at their Promenade Cafe. Back in 2006, I went to a Harry Potter convention at that hotel and I had several meals with my fandom friends at the Promenade (which we took to calling "the R/Hr Cafe" -- for Ron/Hermione, and I'm not even going to explain that any further for any non-fandomers who must already be hitting the back button in alarm). They had great breakfast, and they still do (Crusted French Toast OMG), but I'm sorry to report that their menu selection has been greatly reduced. They used to have a huge breakfast menu, but now it's a single page with about 7 or 8 items. After breakfast, I took the briefest of strolls through the convention area. There actually was a convention going on that morning, but no one was wearing witch hats or wizard robes, so it couldn't have been very fun. I even had a hearty flashback to my short-lived career as Podcast Bouncer. #neveragain
After a quick stop at Target to grab a jug of emergency water for the car, I made my way to Cedar City, Utah to meet up with Emily, Susan, Ray, Karen and Erin. It's a pleasant drive, with an absolutely breathtaking 20-mile stretch through Arizona -- a foretaste of the glory I would experience in a few days.
By the time I got to the Southern Utah University campus, time was running tight. I had been listening to Hamilton and it took the entirety of "Say No to This" for me to find a space in the public parking. I made it to the Randall L. Jones theater juuuuuuuust in time to hug everyone, collect my tickets, and be seated for Guys and Dolls.
I'd never seen any production of this musical before, though I knew several of the songs. I did take the time to watch the movie before my trip and enjoyed Sinatra and Brando very much. My friends Emily and Susan seemed to feel that Quinn Matfeld, who played Nathan Detroit, stole the show, but ... Nathan is the main character! It's his show to begin with! For my part, I thought the ladies (Melinda Parrett as Adelaide and Alexandra Zorn as Sarah) were the standouts, Melinda in particular.
First Visit from the Tear Fairy: "More I Cannot Wish You," a song which was not in the movie and for which I was not at all prepared. UNFAIR! This was the first of SEVERAL punches to my daddy-daughter soft spot. Arvide might not be Sarah's actual father, but he might as well be. Incidentally, the actor that played Arvide (Jonathan Gillard Daly) was my MVP for the festival. He was quite frequently my favorite thing about anything he was in. His other roles were Friar Laurence (the true hero of Romeo & Juliet) and Fennyman (the Tom Wlkinson character and my favorite character in the movie version of Shakespeare in Love).
After the show, Emily checked herself and I into our room at the El Rey (the closest lodging to the campus, enabling us to walk to each show instead of driving) and there was time for a little nap. But first she gave me a belated Christmas present. Needless to say, I was ecstatic.
Dinner was at the Pizza Factory, right across from our hotel. This is something of a first-night tradition. Dinner in Cedar City tended to be a bit rushed each night, since we wanted to make it back to campus for "orientation" -- where someone from the festival would give us a quick rundown of each of the plays being performed that night so that they would be easier to understand. I particularly appreciated Fred Adams' schpiel on Romeo & Juliet, a play I have seen many times, and I knew it was based on another work (as pretty much all of Shakespeare's plays are), but I hadn't heard the story about the statue of the young girl that inspired the poem the play is based on.
I was too exhausted to give Romeo & Juliet proper attention and awakeness and I was sorry for it. I get a bit defensive about the play, because it annoys me when people say it's *just* about teenage hormones or that all these people died because Romeo couldn't keep it in his pants. I *do* think Romeo was really in love with Juliet, in a way he wasn't with Rosaline. The poetry he is writing about Rosaline is Shakespeare parodying the sappy verse of the time, and it's strongly contrasted with the lines he exchanges with Juliet. And Juliet, for her part, gives as good as she gets in the poetry department. Their rhapsodic verse is something they have *in common*. The FEUD is what kills all those people.
Anyway, I can probably blame my defensiveness for the fact that I paid very little attention to the romance this time around and instead focused on the feud and the Friar's attempts to help (which is half the play). The Friar is, to me, the most important and interesting character in the play, and I was really glad to see that they kept most of the final scene, where the Friar recounts to the families how these deaths came about. We always hear the Prince's condemnation, but we almost never see the families find out that their children fell in love and secretly married. There's an obvious reason for this -- we've already seen everything the Friar is describing, and if you're looking to trim the run time of the play, that's the first place you'll look. But I loved that we got to SEE the families react to it and and begin to reconcile, and that we got the detail of Lady Montague's suicide and Lord Montague's promise to build a gold statue in Juliet's honor (thank you, Fred, for giving us that history lesson before the play!).
After the play, there was a cabaret event that I was too tired to attend, but I was told I didn't miss much.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 1
The next morning, while the others went to the seminars, I slept in a bit and grabbed a quick bite at the hotel's breakfast service. And at 10am we all headed to the Anes theater for the first of two workshop plays we were going to see. This one was called "Shrew!" and, as you might guess, it's a riff on Taming of the Shrew. It was meant to be a "what if" where the play was rewritten for a more modern audience, and rewritten by a woman. So you'd think that some of the more problematic elements would be addressed and fixed, but ... not really. I still liked it, but it definitely was not the advertised "more feminist / less problematic" adaptation.
They did quite a bit of lampshading on how the clowns in Shakespeare plays aren't funny (I nearly died when the woman reading the stage directions said that two characters were going to face off and get down to "serious clowning"). Possibly my favorite moment was when Kate, reacting to yet another phallic joke, started ranting about aren't there any new sources of humor and why after thousands of years we still can't come up with better jokes than sausages and tree trunks and "any object longer than it is wide." The Tear Fairy visited again when Kate and Baptista reconciled, with Kate explaining that she was so distraught when her mother died that she shut her father out.
On a more superficial and objectifying note, the actor who played Petruchio was extremely attractive and I took great pleasure in seeing him in the other productions he was a part of. He was an especially yummy Oberon in Midsummer Night's Dream.
We had lunch at one of those bread places and it was more satisfying than I expected, though what I wanted more than anything was just something cold to drink. When we went back for the 2:00 play, I bought a souvenir program, which, in addition to having lots of lovely photographs from the plays, also has a very handy chart of the company, so that you can clearly see who's in what (since just about every actor is in multiple productions).
The matinee was A Midsummer Night's Dream, and it was LOVELY and set in a 1920s jazz (err, white jazz, that is :P) setting. It was a spectacular-looking production, with incredible costumes and a lovely set. The person doing orientation described the lovers' plot as high school antics and I wondered why, in the spate of set-this-literary-classic-in-a-high-school movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, no one had adapted *this* play for that purpose. The main obstacle, I suppose, is the magical drugging and how it shapes the romantic plots -- there's a whole lot of nonconensual shenanigans in this play and Demetrius in particular is never "turned back," like all the other characters are, which is pretty disturbing if you think too much about it.
The most important part of this production, however, was the very adorable and very real DOGGOE who was carried by one of the "mechanicals." This was the best behaved dog I had ever seen, and he had even been trained to turn his head certain ways when he was supposed to look somewhere. I was so distracted from the play whenever this cutie was on stage, because my brain was suddenly filled with nothing but "OMG PUPPY!".
Oh, and the Tear Fairy visited again when Aegeus and Hermia reconcile -- something that is *implied* in the text but that here we were specifically shown.
Insert break, nap, taking care of a little Facebook business. Dinner was at Cafe Rio, a chain I'd never heard of that has very tasty (semi)-Mexican food. Susan and Ray had swapped their tickets to go see the final show of Guys and Dolls and bought later tickets for what the rest of us were seeing that night -- As You Like It. I really dug AYLI and the more I think about it the more it might be my favorite. Probably Shakespeare's greatest female character, Rosalind, in a comedy that takes a little while to find the funny. (It's pretty dang dire for at least the first act!) I'd seen this play in Shakespeare in the Park a few years back, with Lily Rabe as Rosalind, Renee Elise Goldsberry (WERK!) as Celia, Andre Braugher as both Dukes, and Oliver Platt as Touchstone. But I didn't remember much of the story, except that Rosalind poses as a boy and gives her love interest lessons on how to woo her.
As usual, in this version there was too much clown stuff, but I just really love the world of this play. This community of outcasts that find joy in each other's company. *FANDOM FLASHBACKS* And the Tear Fairy came AGAIN when Rosalind was reunited with her father.
At some point, Emily leaned over to me and said "doesn't that guy look like Benedict Cumberbatch?" (meaning an actor playing one of the smaller characters who provides a lot of the musical accompaniment). I looked closer and yes, he did indeed resemble the Cumberbatch a bit, particularly in the eyes. This was a mild amusement in the moment, but it would get downright uncanny later.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
I had a weird morning on Saturday, trying to take care of things before I left the next morning -- filling up the car with gas, getting odds and ends, braving the bizarre "figure 8" lane pattern near I-15, etc. -- and I juuuuuuust made it to the morning's workshop play, Pearl's in the House.
This play is actually going to be stagednext this season, but the reading was excellent. It's about Pearl Bailey and it takes place during a (presumably) fictional interview, where the interviewer is pushing her to answer uncomfortable questions about her role as a political figure. There was occasional singing, and our "Pearl" did a lot of avoiding putting herself out there on sensitive issues such as AIDS, even as she was taking calls about a friend in intensive care who was about to die from AIDS. She kept talking about not wanting to deal in labels and addressing racism in her own way. As a frequent performer at the White House, she referred to it as "the House," and there's a moment near the end of the play when the pianist tries to nudge her to say "White House" and she won't do it. She plays it off as friendly and "honey, I come here so much, it's just 'the House' to me," but she will not call it the WHITE House, which I thought was a brilliant way of not dealing with it but also definitely dealing with it.
And upon closer inspection, dude, that guy REALLY looked like Benedict Cumberbatch.
While everyone else stayed for a discussion after the play, I went to move my rental car back to the hotel parking lot, and hooked back up with everyone in time to go to a nearby barbecue place. It's no Franklin, but they had their own version of a Tipsy Texan called a "Thunderbird," which was very yummy indeed.
Next was the last performance of Treasure Island, which was delightful. There was a band (of actors from the play) singing sea shantys before the show started and the "turn off your cell phone" schpiel was wonderfully piratey. Squire Trelawney was my absolute favorite. Every line he delivered was pure joy and sent me into fits of giggles. There was nothing funnier to me than when he gave a deep gasp and just said "JIM!" in an exceedingly hilarious way.
Dinner was at a nearby diner before the last play *I* would be attending, a stage adaptation of the 1998 film Shakespeare in Love. As someone who loves that film enormously and was quite glad to see it overtake the bloated, jingoistic, occasionally nonsensical Saving Private Ryan for Best Picture (ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT ENDING IT CAN'T BE RYAN IN THE CEMETERY FLASHING BACK TO D-DAY HE WASN'T EFFING THERE ... *ahem*), I was anxious to see what they would do with this.
It's quite a good adaptation. I loved the visual of all the characters hovering over Will as he tries to write. There was some clever staging of things I thought would be difficult to choreograph (like the stage/backstage goings on during the performance of Romeo & Juliet). One of my favorite things was the expanded relationship between Shakespeare and Marlowe. Marlowe is a significant cameo but a cameo nonetheless in the film (Rupert Everett is not even credited in the movie), but here he is an actual supporting character and it gives so much more weight to Will's guilt and grief over Marlowe's death.
Will and Viola were played by a real-life married couple, and everyone kind of went nuts when Will and "Thomas" kissed. This annoyed me a little, as it frequently does when a real-life couple play up their relationship as part of the show. Not that it was their fault the audience reacted the way they did, but they *did* purposely do a dramatic kiss after the bows and I was just like "we get it, duh, you love each other."
After this performance there was to be an end-of-season party outside the theater but I didn't stick around for it as I was leaving frightfully early the next morning and still needed to pack. So I said my goodbyes and immediately started crying as I turned back to the hotel. This is just how I am. When I was eight and had my first slumber party, I cried when my friends left EVEN THOUGH I WOULD SEE THEM AGAIN AT SCHOOL ON MONDAY WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
I packed as well as I could and hugged Emily goodbye when she got back from the party (since it would be too early to do so when I had to leave). I did not, however, get a good night's sleep. I'm pretty sure I did not sleep at all. I had a touch of nausea and I think I was nervous about the drive ahead of me.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 3
I got out of bed at 3:30am and loaded the car. By 4am I was on the road. Despite getting no sleep the night before, I had no concerns about nodding off because I was too scared. That is a seriously treacherous drive in the dark. In addition to the narrow, winding roads, I passed no less than a dozen deer -- one of which was in the middle of the road (thankfully *right* in the middle, straddling the yellow line, so I didn't have to swerve). It was very unnerving and I was paranoid about hitting a deer for pretty much the rest of the trip.
I got to the North Rim about an hour after sun up and was pleased that it was cool enough that I actually needed my light jacket. This is not nearly the tourist trap that the South Rim is -- only one hotel, with several cabins surrounding it. I had breakfast at the lodge, which has a stunning view of the canyon out the huge picture windows.
[Note: I uploaded a BUNCH of pictures to Facebook at the time, and I'm not going to repost them here because there are just too many and it's been too long for me to remember what specific pics go with what for the most part. They're all in a folder called "GrandShakesVegasFest" on my pics page.]
I'd gotten a pass for my windshield at the self-service machine, since the ranger station at the park entrance was closed at the ridiculous hour I passed it. I also took advantage of the water filling station, which pumps clean, cold water directly from the canyon.
My first trail that morning was probably a mistake. Bright Angel Trail is short but very steep. It was bad enough on the way down, worrying that I might step wrong and slip, but uphill was absolute hell and I had to stop every twenty or thirty feet to catch my breath and gulp down some water. Ironically, I had brought the Wonder Woman water bottle that Emily and Susan had given me for my birthday, and I couldn't have felt *less* like Wonder Woman. I was starting to question whether I'd be able to do the other trail I'd planned.
Thankfully, the trip to Point Imperial (the highest point in the park) was all drive. The downside was that it was more twisty, narrow roads. Well, at least it was daylight. It was probably a mistake to put on the Baby Driver soundtrack, though, as that is not music that is conducive to slow, careful driving. After getting some photos, I took a short nap in the car and made my way to the Cape Royal trail. It was blessedly flat and I was able to get to Angel's Window and Cape Royal (my favorite view on the North Rim) without too much drama. I did have to pull over at least once and sleep for a few minutes, but it was an otherwise perfect end to the morning.
I said goodbye to the North Rim and made my way out of the park, stopping for lunch at Jacob Lake Inn. I was not a fan of the grilled chicken club I ordered, but very much a fan of the handmade peach shake. The cookie I got "for the road" was still mostly in tact when I got back to NYC Wednesday night (it was delicious, but I just never had a chance to finish it).
Part of the drive out of the park to Flagstaff was through Marble Canyon and the Vermillion Cliffs Scenic Drive. This was absolutely gorgeous -- I stopped once for photos and took a video during the drive. I couldn't get over how amazing it looked.
Before going south to Flagstaff, I had what was my biggest mistake and regret of the trip. I'd been determined to see Horseshoe Bend, which was very near the turnoff to Flagstaff. It was clear to me almost as soon as I parked the car and started up the trail that this was a spot not really meant for tourists, but that people probably just started going there so they posted some safety warnings for people to let them know what to expect. It's a 3/4 mile hike (one way), which wouldn't have been bad by itself, but the first bit is a huge uphill climb on a sandy trail. I made it to the top of the hill, looked ahead at the huge expanse of desert I would have to cross to get to the viewpoint, and decided that I was not, in fact, Lawrence of Arabia and could look at much better pictures online of this site than I could ever take in person. And I noped right on back to the car. Aside from the trek, it was late in the day and teeming with other tourists. I'd also neglected to bring any sunscreen (I didn't have to worry about it on the canyon trails because they're well shaded, particularly in the morning) and I was already pink from just the walk up the hill. Ugh, lesson learned.
So off to Flagstaff I went, checking into the Little America Inn. I had tried to get reservations at one of the South Rim hotels months before to save myself another early morning drive, but it being a holiday weekend, I didn't try quite early enough and they were all booked. Little America was a nice hotel, though. It was clearly an old place, judging from the design and decor, but it was very well kept. My room was HUGE, and I was sad that I wasn't staying long enough to properly enjoy it. I never even had time to turn the television on.
I had a steak dinner at the Horsemen Lodge (once I found it), and on the way back to the hotel I experienced some serious white privilege. I got pulled over for cutting in front of a cop car and rolling through a red-light right turn, and managed to escape with just a warning, which I know for a certainty would never have happened (certainly not in Arizona) if I had not been white. With images in my head of what the cop could have gotten away with had I been black or Mexican or Latino, I made my way back to the hotel with extreme caution and hit the bed.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4
Once again, I woke up super early. I was checked out and on the road by 3:45, and happy to be on a much less scary drive to South Rim. I parked the car in a nearly empty lot and basically followed silhouetted human-y shapes to Mather Point. I got there just as it was starting to get light and tried to get time lapse of sunrise, but I hadn't brought my little tripod stand and had to try and hold still. It didn't turn out well, but once it was lighter out, I walked a bit further down and got much better shots of the actual sunrise.
Once it was fully light, I drove to the El Tovar hotel, which would have been my choice for lodging the night before if it hadn't been booked. I had breakfast at their dining room and enjoyed another epic view. On the way out, I bought a shirt at the gift shop.
I ultimately decided not to do the Ooh Ah Point hike given the previous day's difficulties. This would save me about an hour, but I ended up spending more time than expected at Desert View Watchtower, so it was a wash. The tower itself was closed for maintenance, but the overlook was still open. I also hit this gift shop and bought a "Moscow mule mug" before starting the long drive back to Vegas. (It wasn't actually that long, but the heat and the lack of landmarks to break up the monotony took more of a toll than I was used to.)
About 30 miles outside of Las Vegas, I stopped at the Hoover Dam for a few pics. It was WAY too hot to care about a tour, but many others around me were game for it. Once I was back in Vegas, I stopped at Fatburger for a late lunch and positively boggled at how huge their burgers are -- and how much a burger/fries/drink combo could cost.
I waddled back to the car and made my way to the hotel. I opted for South Point this time -- off the Strip, relatively quiet. I used a bath bomb I'd gotten at one of the MGM Grand shops and relaxed for a bit.
I was determined to hit Fremont Street -- a downtown, almost fairground-like area that's home to several of the oldschool casinos -- but I was too tired and not enough of a party spirit to properly enjoy it. I was also a bit tummyaching, but it was mild enough that I couldn't exactly tell if it was nausea or hunger, so I went in search of dinner.
I headed to the Peppermill (a restaurant with an adjacent firepit-centric lounge where several tv shows and movies have been filmed, like Scorsese's Casino). I ordered a salad, thinking that was light enough to satisfy my hunger, if that was what it was, but not upset a tummyache, if that was what it was. What they brought me was like no salad I had ever seen -- a giant dome with lettuce in the middle and the toppings comprising an outer "crust" that I had to break through. There was no way to properly eat this thing. After eating about half of it, I resigned myself to returning to the hotel and slept pretty hard.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5
At the suggestion of a friend, I had breakfast the next morning at The Cracked Egg, and once I'd found it, it was one of the best meals I had.
This should have been a relaxing day, but I'd made plans for at least three or four things, the first of which was KISS mini-golf at the Rio. This was a BLAST, even though I was a lackluster golfer. I couldn't even get the ball up Gene Simmons' tongue for the last shot like I was supposed to, but it was a cool attraction nonetheless. I'm glad I went early, so I didn't have to worry about people waiting behind me.
I had a rather annoying experience on my way out of the mall. A woman at a skin care boutique handed me a free sample, which I refused at first until she insisted. She then cajoled me into coming into the shop, which I was very reluctant to do, but I had a little time to kill before my next thing, and I didn't fully understand what she was dragging me inside to do. I then was subjected to a collagen demo, which would have been fine if not for the pressurized hard-sell from the guy giving it to me. Sorry, dude, I don't have $200 to spend on skin care stuff right now.
My next stop was the Strip Gun Club, which I'd made reservations at a few months before. I got the idea from one of Casey Neistat's videos (I went to the same place) and I was genuinely interested in seeing what it was like to fire a gun. I went for their "pistol package" - the second cheapest package they offered, which was still pretty pricey, but I figured it was somewhat worth it to have an experienced person behind me, making sure I was safe. I was to have my ear protection on the whole time, because there were other people shooting in the same area (the guy next to me, at one point, fired what I could only surmise was a small cannon, given how LOUD it was).
I did pretty well, marksmanship-wise, especially given that it was my first try. I got two shots (well, one and a half) in the centermost section. I have no reference for the various types of guns, so I literally picked ones I'd heard of from movies. I fired a 9mm Glock, a .357 Magnum, and a .44 Magnum, plus a couple more I can't remember. The .44 was by far the one I had the easiest time and best results with. The .357 was scary, and I knew it would be -- the lady supervising me told me it was a pretty serious kick, but that it wasn't anything I couldn't handle, but I still remembered CJ Cregg getting knocked off her feet firing one on The West Wing. Thankfully, that did not happen to me, though it was impossible to keep my hand from jerking up a little when I fired it.
After punching through all the ammo I'd paid to use, and buying a souvenir mesh tractor cap, I went to the Aria hotel for lunch at Javier's. I chose this place purely for the decor, but they had delicious high-end Mexican food and made a mean mango margarita. I popped by the Bellagio for their famous gelato, but the servings were larger than I remembered and I got too much. I'd intended to make one more stop at the Cosmopolitan hotel, but I was out of time and had to get the rental car back.
I scheduled to return the car a day before leaving Vegas, reasoning that it would be less stressful and I wouldn't feel so much pressure to Do Stuff on my last day (allowing me a chance to wind down and actually rest at least once on my vacation). It didn't *quite* work, but I'm still glad I didn't have to fool with it on my way out of town.
I took a Lyft back to hotel, and I'm now strongly considering not renting a car at all the next time I'm in Vegas; Lyft/Uber is just so *easy* and not that expensive. I tried to take a nap, but since this was the first morning in a few days that I *hadn't* woken up before dawn, I wasn't that tired. I fooled around on the internet until just after dark, and donned my swimsuit for a trip to the pool. This was the most relaxed I was for the whole trip, and I loved seeing the other-worldly shade of blue the sky turns to out there in the first hour or so after sunset. Eventually, I didn't want to leave the pool because it felt bizarrely COLD. I did manage to get out, though, and took a shower before heading to the Strip one last time.
Dinner was at Battista's Hole in the Wall, a not-so-glamorous Italian place that's a short walk from the LINQ. There were very loud people in the room I'd been seated in, but the lasagna was yummy and the salad reminiscent of Olive Garden (in other words, delicious). I stopped by the Cheesecake Factory to pick up a slice of cheesecake to-go and then made my way to the High Roller, which was open this time. There was a tiny bit of drama about my pass, which had expired, but I explained the situation and got a new paper ticket without much fuss. I also got a cocktail to enjoy on my trip.
The High Roller was lovely, and I was glad it was not more crowded than it was, because there were a couple of annoying parties in my group -- notably, a couple who were making out the whole time and hogging part of the view without looking at it themselves. One of the most unsettling parts of the ride is when I would look down at my phone for a minute and look back up at a slightly different view. It also felt a bit uneasy going over the top, even though I knew we weren't going to even lean the slightest bit.
I had one last stop to make before Lyft-ing back to South Point. As I'd missed the Cosmopolitan earlier, I wanted to get up there before I left. Not to see the casino or shops -- I'd seen plenty of both. No, the Cosmopolitan has among its decor several repurposed cigarette vending machines. You put in $5, pull the lever, and get a piece of art. You don't know what you're going to get, but you choose from some samples and get something from the same artist.
[I didn't take a picture of what I got from the machine, which was a little sculpture.]
When I got back to the hotel, I tried to enjoy my cheesecake, but I wasn't feeling well (again), so I could only handle one bite. I saved it in hopes that I could enjoy more of it in the morning before heading to the airport.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 6
After a mostly good night's sleep, I did not care the slightest bit about getting to the airport two hours early. I took my time packing and was able to enjoy about half of the previous night's cheesecake for "breakfast."
I worried about sufficient space, since I had purchased a few things and had my Schuyler Sisters pillow to tow, but it seemed like I had *less* than I did when I flew in.
I had a very friendly Lyft driver and we chatted about how real Las Vegas-ites love it when it rains. I got through security and went to where my gate was *supposed* to be, but whoops, the gate had changed, and I should have been on a completely different concourse. So I booked it to the correct gate, thankful all the while for moving platforms, and was glad to have missed most of the pre-boarding herding.
Usually when I come back from a trip, I don't bother taking that night off from work, but I was very glad I decided differently this time and gave myself the night to sleep and come down from the travel high. I consider this trip a great success. There were of course more things I could have done, but given my time constraints and the physical challenges of Traveling While Overweight, I think I did remarkably well.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30
I did not start this vacation in the best of moods. One of my roommates had just moved out, the other was coming back that night after being gone for a few months, and I was having to do last minute clean-up. Plus, the elevator was out, so I couldn't take the trash down to the alley -- *and* the elevator outage meant I had to lug my luggage down the stairs and try not to fall (a fear I have long had after falling down the last few stairs several years ago).
So I was later than I wanted to be in heading out the door, but I consoled myself with the fact that I wouldn't have to wait as long in Gate Purgatory. As I had worked the overnight shift and hadn't been to sleep in many hours, I slept most of the flight. There was a short layover in Kansas City and I learned the hard way that you shouldn't really leave the immediate gate area (I ended up having to go through security again). I got to Las Vegas on schedule and was as bemused as ever that McCarran airport is basically another casino (only without the lingering stench of cigarette smoke). And this was my favorite sign EVER.
Welcome to Vegas, yo.
I got some cash out of the ATM and started the arduous process of picking up the rental car. I mean, it's not *that* bad, but I always groan when I have to take a shuttle to a whole other facility to pick up a car. The woman at the Alamo desk was very chatty and friendly and upgraded my rental from a compact to a standard. I was also pleased to see that Alamo has upped its GPS game since I last rented one of those. They have those fancy mini-tablets now. I am endlessly glad I sprang for the GPS. It was super annoying trying to use it in Las Vegas (kept trying to get me on I-15 when it would have been simpler just to go down the Strip), but I never would have survived the Grand Canyon excursion without it.
I had a choice between a few cars. I skipped over the first, which had a Massachusetts license plate (surely a one-way rental), and went for the little black Kia Soul. On the drive to Caesars Palace, where I would be staying that night, I naturally had some Vegas-themed music playing -- Elvis, Frank, Dean, Sammy, Ella, Eartha. And I managed to get a half-decent moving shot of the "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign while driving, which was no small feat.
I made my way into the Caesars Palace parking lot and marveled at how technology has improved in small ways to make the process of parking in such a huge garage a little less of a nightmare. Not every lot is like this, but the larger casinos/resorts have green/red lights above each parking space, so you can see from a distance where one is empty (haha, tiny cars, you can't fool me anymore!). They also keep track of how many spaces are available, so you'll see a sign that says there are, say, 84 spaces if you turn right, etc. This may not be that new to anyone else who drives more regularly than a couple times a year, but I was thrilled.
I hadn't yet learned the lesson of parking close to the elevator (though I *did* remember to take a picture of what section I was in with my phone), so it was a long trek to the elevator bank connecting to the hotel. Then I had an even longer trek around the dang casino and shops and restaurants and what-not trying to find the front desk. I also quickly learned that my new suitcase (I finally invested in one of those hard-case four-wheel dealies) was pretty much useless on carpet. It was WAY harder than it should have been to push that thing around! Though I'm sure it would have been worse with the two-wheeled kind (or no-wheeled kind -- gah, how did we ever manage with those things?!).
So I got to the line at the front desk and was confronted with an uncomfortable sight. Some woman, who I could only imagine had accidentally locked herself out of her room, was standing there in only a tank top and underwear. And I don't mean boxers -- that might have been slightly less embarrassing for her. I couldn't quite stop thinking about how humiliating it must have been for her to walk through that enormous, crowded casino floor to the desk wearing so little, and how a lot of people must have been thinking it was just a Vegas thing and she was doing it on purpose to get attention or whatever.
Once I'd gotten my keys, I made another long trudge (I'm running out of synonyms for "walk") up to my room in the Forum Tower, thankful that the desk clerk had given me a restaurant called "searsucker" (lower case intentional) as a signpost. I'd booked one of the cheapest rooms, but it was still pretty nice. Good bathroom, with one of my favorite amenities -- the toilet in its own room. The view was also pretty great (and even better at night), which I suspect is NOT the case with a lot of those cheaper rooms. (In fact, having looked at several travel sites, I know it's not.) I took a much-needed shower, got dressed in the "dressiest" outfit I'd brought (meaning a nice top and slacks instead of jeans) and headed down to the Bacchanal Buffet.
This was by far the most expensive meal of my trip. In addition to the cost of the buffet itself, I also splurged for the privilege of skipping the line (#worthit). The Bacchanal is THE buffet on the Strip. There's obviously an appeal in the super cheap buffets that you see everywhere, but the Bacchanal is on another level. The food is all fresh made, and nothing has been sitting under the heat lamps for ages -- everything gets swapped out so it's all fresh. Some notable dishes that I partook of -- sweet potato tater tots, prime rib, and a fresh-made al pastor taco. My most pleasant surprise was the pan-seared salmon. I'm not a huge fan of salmon in general, but this was amazing -- falling apart and melting in your mouth.
After three trips, plus a dessert trip, I was about to pop and -- not to get too TMI -- was quite grateful for the bathroom that was just outside the entrance to the buffet. I walked around the shops for a while (longer than I wanted to because it is nigh impossible to find an exit -- it was like Hotel California) and eventually found a way out.
Once I managed to
Not wanting to go back through the promenade, I wandered around the backside of the LINQ, through parking garages and such -- probably a bunch of places I wasn't supposed to be walking -- until I found a monorail station. I had a little checklist of things I wanted to see, several of which were suggested by a local, and one of them was at the MGM Grand. So off I went.
It took a good bit of walking around the MGM casino to find what I was looking for, and I wasn't confident that I could adequately describe it to a hotel employee so that they could point me in the right direction. It had clearly been a while since I'd been on a casino floor (other than earlier in the day, of course) because I kept marveling at how much of pop culture was represented in the slots and other electronic games -- Wonder Woman, Titanic, Breaking Bad, Big Bang Theory, etc. Finally I found what I was looking for.
It's an old-school electronic horse race game. You bet 25 cents on a combination of horses, and if those two finish in the first two places, you win. I won a buck and a half and considered my trip a success. Then promptly lost 50 cents of it on the Wonder Woman slot. :P
I spent the next hour or so trying to get good photo ops on the Strip -- I still can't seem to take good pictures at night -- and before boarding the monorail back to Caesars, I got a New York Seltzer out one of the machines. Once I was back in my room, I turned on the tv for about 10 minutes and watched the end of Julie & Julia before finally dropping off to sleep.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 31
I woke up pretty early because I had a very specific place I wanted to go to for breakfast, which was a bit out of the way, and I had a significant drive ahead of me (and would lose an hour to a new time zone in the process). I was very pleased to be able to check out of my room over the phone, saving me yet another journey to the front desk. And I was on my way only a *little* behind schedule.
So it may seem silly, but I always try to go to the JW Marriott when I'm in Las Vegas and have breakfast at their Promenade Cafe. Back in 2006, I went to a Harry Potter convention at that hotel and I had several meals with my fandom friends at the Promenade (which we took to calling "the R/Hr Cafe" -- for Ron/Hermione, and I'm not even going to explain that any further for any non-fandomers who must already be hitting the back button in alarm). They had great breakfast, and they still do (Crusted French Toast OMG), but I'm sorry to report that their menu selection has been greatly reduced. They used to have a huge breakfast menu, but now it's a single page with about 7 or 8 items. After breakfast, I took the briefest of strolls through the convention area. There actually was a convention going on that morning, but no one was wearing witch hats or wizard robes, so it couldn't have been very fun. I even had a hearty flashback to my short-lived career as Podcast Bouncer. #neveragain
After a quick stop at Target to grab a jug of emergency water for the car, I made my way to Cedar City, Utah to meet up with Emily, Susan, Ray, Karen and Erin. It's a pleasant drive, with an absolutely breathtaking 20-mile stretch through Arizona -- a foretaste of the glory I would experience in a few days.
By the time I got to the Southern Utah University campus, time was running tight. I had been listening to Hamilton and it took the entirety of "Say No to This" for me to find a space in the public parking. I made it to the Randall L. Jones theater juuuuuuuust in time to hug everyone, collect my tickets, and be seated for Guys and Dolls.
I'd never seen any production of this musical before, though I knew several of the songs. I did take the time to watch the movie before my trip and enjoyed Sinatra and Brando very much. My friends Emily and Susan seemed to feel that Quinn Matfeld, who played Nathan Detroit, stole the show, but ... Nathan is the main character! It's his show to begin with! For my part, I thought the ladies (Melinda Parrett as Adelaide and Alexandra Zorn as Sarah) were the standouts, Melinda in particular.
First Visit from the Tear Fairy: "More I Cannot Wish You," a song which was not in the movie and for which I was not at all prepared. UNFAIR! This was the first of SEVERAL punches to my daddy-daughter soft spot. Arvide might not be Sarah's actual father, but he might as well be. Incidentally, the actor that played Arvide (Jonathan Gillard Daly) was my MVP for the festival. He was quite frequently my favorite thing about anything he was in. His other roles were Friar Laurence (the true hero of Romeo & Juliet) and Fennyman (the Tom Wlkinson character and my favorite character in the movie version of Shakespeare in Love).
After the show, Emily checked herself and I into our room at the El Rey (the closest lodging to the campus, enabling us to walk to each show instead of driving) and there was time for a little nap. But first she gave me a belated Christmas present. Needless to say, I was ecstatic.
Dinner was at the Pizza Factory, right across from our hotel. This is something of a first-night tradition. Dinner in Cedar City tended to be a bit rushed each night, since we wanted to make it back to campus for "orientation" -- where someone from the festival would give us a quick rundown of each of the plays being performed that night so that they would be easier to understand. I particularly appreciated Fred Adams' schpiel on Romeo & Juliet, a play I have seen many times, and I knew it was based on another work (as pretty much all of Shakespeare's plays are), but I hadn't heard the story about the statue of the young girl that inspired the poem the play is based on.
I was too exhausted to give Romeo & Juliet proper attention and awakeness and I was sorry for it. I get a bit defensive about the play, because it annoys me when people say it's *just* about teenage hormones or that all these people died because Romeo couldn't keep it in his pants. I *do* think Romeo was really in love with Juliet, in a way he wasn't with Rosaline. The poetry he is writing about Rosaline is Shakespeare parodying the sappy verse of the time, and it's strongly contrasted with the lines he exchanges with Juliet. And Juliet, for her part, gives as good as she gets in the poetry department. Their rhapsodic verse is something they have *in common*. The FEUD is what kills all those people.
Anyway, I can probably blame my defensiveness for the fact that I paid very little attention to the romance this time around and instead focused on the feud and the Friar's attempts to help (which is half the play). The Friar is, to me, the most important and interesting character in the play, and I was really glad to see that they kept most of the final scene, where the Friar recounts to the families how these deaths came about. We always hear the Prince's condemnation, but we almost never see the families find out that their children fell in love and secretly married. There's an obvious reason for this -- we've already seen everything the Friar is describing, and if you're looking to trim the run time of the play, that's the first place you'll look. But I loved that we got to SEE the families react to it and and begin to reconcile, and that we got the detail of Lady Montague's suicide and Lord Montague's promise to build a gold statue in Juliet's honor (thank you, Fred, for giving us that history lesson before the play!).
After the play, there was a cabaret event that I was too tired to attend, but I was told I didn't miss much.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 1
The next morning, while the others went to the seminars, I slept in a bit and grabbed a quick bite at the hotel's breakfast service. And at 10am we all headed to the Anes theater for the first of two workshop plays we were going to see. This one was called "Shrew!" and, as you might guess, it's a riff on Taming of the Shrew. It was meant to be a "what if" where the play was rewritten for a more modern audience, and rewritten by a woman. So you'd think that some of the more problematic elements would be addressed and fixed, but ... not really. I still liked it, but it definitely was not the advertised "more feminist / less problematic" adaptation.
They did quite a bit of lampshading on how the clowns in Shakespeare plays aren't funny (I nearly died when the woman reading the stage directions said that two characters were going to face off and get down to "serious clowning"). Possibly my favorite moment was when Kate, reacting to yet another phallic joke, started ranting about aren't there any new sources of humor and why after thousands of years we still can't come up with better jokes than sausages and tree trunks and "any object longer than it is wide." The Tear Fairy visited again when Kate and Baptista reconciled, with Kate explaining that she was so distraught when her mother died that she shut her father out.
On a more superficial and objectifying note, the actor who played Petruchio was extremely attractive and I took great pleasure in seeing him in the other productions he was a part of. He was an especially yummy Oberon in Midsummer Night's Dream.
We had lunch at one of those bread places and it was more satisfying than I expected, though what I wanted more than anything was just something cold to drink. When we went back for the 2:00 play, I bought a souvenir program, which, in addition to having lots of lovely photographs from the plays, also has a very handy chart of the company, so that you can clearly see who's in what (since just about every actor is in multiple productions).
The matinee was A Midsummer Night's Dream, and it was LOVELY and set in a 1920s jazz (err, white jazz, that is :P) setting. It was a spectacular-looking production, with incredible costumes and a lovely set. The person doing orientation described the lovers' plot as high school antics and I wondered why, in the spate of set-this-literary-classic-in-a-high-school movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, no one had adapted *this* play for that purpose. The main obstacle, I suppose, is the magical drugging and how it shapes the romantic plots -- there's a whole lot of nonconensual shenanigans in this play and Demetrius in particular is never "turned back," like all the other characters are, which is pretty disturbing if you think too much about it.
The most important part of this production, however, was the very adorable and very real DOGGOE who was carried by one of the "mechanicals." This was the best behaved dog I had ever seen, and he had even been trained to turn his head certain ways when he was supposed to look somewhere. I was so distracted from the play whenever this cutie was on stage, because my brain was suddenly filled with nothing but "OMG PUPPY!".
Oh, and the Tear Fairy visited again when Aegeus and Hermia reconcile -- something that is *implied* in the text but that here we were specifically shown.
Insert break, nap, taking care of a little Facebook business. Dinner was at Cafe Rio, a chain I'd never heard of that has very tasty (semi)-Mexican food. Susan and Ray had swapped their tickets to go see the final show of Guys and Dolls and bought later tickets for what the rest of us were seeing that night -- As You Like It. I really dug AYLI and the more I think about it the more it might be my favorite. Probably Shakespeare's greatest female character, Rosalind, in a comedy that takes a little while to find the funny. (It's pretty dang dire for at least the first act!) I'd seen this play in Shakespeare in the Park a few years back, with Lily Rabe as Rosalind, Renee Elise Goldsberry (WERK!) as Celia, Andre Braugher as both Dukes, and Oliver Platt as Touchstone. But I didn't remember much of the story, except that Rosalind poses as a boy and gives her love interest lessons on how to woo her.
As usual, in this version there was too much clown stuff, but I just really love the world of this play. This community of outcasts that find joy in each other's company. *FANDOM FLASHBACKS* And the Tear Fairy came AGAIN when Rosalind was reunited with her father.
At some point, Emily leaned over to me and said "doesn't that guy look like Benedict Cumberbatch?" (meaning an actor playing one of the smaller characters who provides a lot of the musical accompaniment). I looked closer and yes, he did indeed resemble the Cumberbatch a bit, particularly in the eyes. This was a mild amusement in the moment, but it would get downright uncanny later.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
I had a weird morning on Saturday, trying to take care of things before I left the next morning -- filling up the car with gas, getting odds and ends, braving the bizarre "figure 8" lane pattern near I-15, etc. -- and I juuuuuuust made it to the morning's workshop play, Pearl's in the House.
This play is actually going to be staged
And upon closer inspection, dude, that guy REALLY looked like Benedict Cumberbatch.
While everyone else stayed for a discussion after the play, I went to move my rental car back to the hotel parking lot, and hooked back up with everyone in time to go to a nearby barbecue place. It's no Franklin, but they had their own version of a Tipsy Texan called a "Thunderbird," which was very yummy indeed.
Next was the last performance of Treasure Island, which was delightful. There was a band (of actors from the play) singing sea shantys before the show started and the "turn off your cell phone" schpiel was wonderfully piratey. Squire Trelawney was my absolute favorite. Every line he delivered was pure joy and sent me into fits of giggles. There was nothing funnier to me than when he gave a deep gasp and just said "JIM!" in an exceedingly hilarious way.
Dinner was at a nearby diner before the last play *I* would be attending, a stage adaptation of the 1998 film Shakespeare in Love. As someone who loves that film enormously and was quite glad to see it overtake the bloated, jingoistic, occasionally nonsensical Saving Private Ryan for Best Picture (ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT ENDING IT CAN'T BE RYAN IN THE CEMETERY FLASHING BACK TO D-DAY HE WASN'T EFFING THERE ... *ahem*), I was anxious to see what they would do with this.
It's quite a good adaptation. I loved the visual of all the characters hovering over Will as he tries to write. There was some clever staging of things I thought would be difficult to choreograph (like the stage/backstage goings on during the performance of Romeo & Juliet). One of my favorite things was the expanded relationship between Shakespeare and Marlowe. Marlowe is a significant cameo but a cameo nonetheless in the film (Rupert Everett is not even credited in the movie), but here he is an actual supporting character and it gives so much more weight to Will's guilt and grief over Marlowe's death.
Will and Viola were played by a real-life married couple, and everyone kind of went nuts when Will and "Thomas" kissed. This annoyed me a little, as it frequently does when a real-life couple play up their relationship as part of the show. Not that it was their fault the audience reacted the way they did, but they *did* purposely do a dramatic kiss after the bows and I was just like "we get it, duh, you love each other."
After this performance there was to be an end-of-season party outside the theater but I didn't stick around for it as I was leaving frightfully early the next morning and still needed to pack. So I said my goodbyes and immediately started crying as I turned back to the hotel. This is just how I am. When I was eight and had my first slumber party, I cried when my friends left EVEN THOUGH I WOULD SEE THEM AGAIN AT SCHOOL ON MONDAY WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
I packed as well as I could and hugged Emily goodbye when she got back from the party (since it would be too early to do so when I had to leave). I did not, however, get a good night's sleep. I'm pretty sure I did not sleep at all. I had a touch of nausea and I think I was nervous about the drive ahead of me.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 3
I got out of bed at 3:30am and loaded the car. By 4am I was on the road. Despite getting no sleep the night before, I had no concerns about nodding off because I was too scared. That is a seriously treacherous drive in the dark. In addition to the narrow, winding roads, I passed no less than a dozen deer -- one of which was in the middle of the road (thankfully *right* in the middle, straddling the yellow line, so I didn't have to swerve). It was very unnerving and I was paranoid about hitting a deer for pretty much the rest of the trip.
I got to the North Rim about an hour after sun up and was pleased that it was cool enough that I actually needed my light jacket. This is not nearly the tourist trap that the South Rim is -- only one hotel, with several cabins surrounding it. I had breakfast at the lodge, which has a stunning view of the canyon out the huge picture windows.
[Note: I uploaded a BUNCH of pictures to Facebook at the time, and I'm not going to repost them here because there are just too many and it's been too long for me to remember what specific pics go with what for the most part. They're all in a folder called "GrandShakesVegasFest" on my pics page.]
I'd gotten a pass for my windshield at the self-service machine, since the ranger station at the park entrance was closed at the ridiculous hour I passed it. I also took advantage of the water filling station, which pumps clean, cold water directly from the canyon.
My first trail that morning was probably a mistake. Bright Angel Trail is short but very steep. It was bad enough on the way down, worrying that I might step wrong and slip, but uphill was absolute hell and I had to stop every twenty or thirty feet to catch my breath and gulp down some water. Ironically, I had brought the Wonder Woman water bottle that Emily and Susan had given me for my birthday, and I couldn't have felt *less* like Wonder Woman. I was starting to question whether I'd be able to do the other trail I'd planned.
Thankfully, the trip to Point Imperial (the highest point in the park) was all drive. The downside was that it was more twisty, narrow roads. Well, at least it was daylight. It was probably a mistake to put on the Baby Driver soundtrack, though, as that is not music that is conducive to slow, careful driving. After getting some photos, I took a short nap in the car and made my way to the Cape Royal trail. It was blessedly flat and I was able to get to Angel's Window and Cape Royal (my favorite view on the North Rim) without too much drama. I did have to pull over at least once and sleep for a few minutes, but it was an otherwise perfect end to the morning.
I said goodbye to the North Rim and made my way out of the park, stopping for lunch at Jacob Lake Inn. I was not a fan of the grilled chicken club I ordered, but very much a fan of the handmade peach shake. The cookie I got "for the road" was still mostly in tact when I got back to NYC Wednesday night (it was delicious, but I just never had a chance to finish it).
Part of the drive out of the park to Flagstaff was through Marble Canyon and the Vermillion Cliffs Scenic Drive. This was absolutely gorgeous -- I stopped once for photos and took a video during the drive. I couldn't get over how amazing it looked.
Before going south to Flagstaff, I had what was my biggest mistake and regret of the trip. I'd been determined to see Horseshoe Bend, which was very near the turnoff to Flagstaff. It was clear to me almost as soon as I parked the car and started up the trail that this was a spot not really meant for tourists, but that people probably just started going there so they posted some safety warnings for people to let them know what to expect. It's a 3/4 mile hike (one way), which wouldn't have been bad by itself, but the first bit is a huge uphill climb on a sandy trail. I made it to the top of the hill, looked ahead at the huge expanse of desert I would have to cross to get to the viewpoint, and decided that I was not, in fact, Lawrence of Arabia and could look at much better pictures online of this site than I could ever take in person. And I noped right on back to the car. Aside from the trek, it was late in the day and teeming with other tourists. I'd also neglected to bring any sunscreen (I didn't have to worry about it on the canyon trails because they're well shaded, particularly in the morning) and I was already pink from just the walk up the hill. Ugh, lesson learned.
So off to Flagstaff I went, checking into the Little America Inn. I had tried to get reservations at one of the South Rim hotels months before to save myself another early morning drive, but it being a holiday weekend, I didn't try quite early enough and they were all booked. Little America was a nice hotel, though. It was clearly an old place, judging from the design and decor, but it was very well kept. My room was HUGE, and I was sad that I wasn't staying long enough to properly enjoy it. I never even had time to turn the television on.
I had a steak dinner at the Horsemen Lodge (once I found it), and on the way back to the hotel I experienced some serious white privilege. I got pulled over for cutting in front of a cop car and rolling through a red-light right turn, and managed to escape with just a warning, which I know for a certainty would never have happened (certainly not in Arizona) if I had not been white. With images in my head of what the cop could have gotten away with had I been black or Mexican or Latino, I made my way back to the hotel with extreme caution and hit the bed.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4
Once again, I woke up super early. I was checked out and on the road by 3:45, and happy to be on a much less scary drive to South Rim. I parked the car in a nearly empty lot and basically followed silhouetted human-y shapes to Mather Point. I got there just as it was starting to get light and tried to get time lapse of sunrise, but I hadn't brought my little tripod stand and had to try and hold still. It didn't turn out well, but once it was lighter out, I walked a bit further down and got much better shots of the actual sunrise.
Once it was fully light, I drove to the El Tovar hotel, which would have been my choice for lodging the night before if it hadn't been booked. I had breakfast at their dining room and enjoyed another epic view. On the way out, I bought a shirt at the gift shop.
I ultimately decided not to do the Ooh Ah Point hike given the previous day's difficulties. This would save me about an hour, but I ended up spending more time than expected at Desert View Watchtower, so it was a wash. The tower itself was closed for maintenance, but the overlook was still open. I also hit this gift shop and bought a "Moscow mule mug" before starting the long drive back to Vegas. (It wasn't actually that long, but the heat and the lack of landmarks to break up the monotony took more of a toll than I was used to.)
About 30 miles outside of Las Vegas, I stopped at the Hoover Dam for a few pics. It was WAY too hot to care about a tour, but many others around me were game for it. Once I was back in Vegas, I stopped at Fatburger for a late lunch and positively boggled at how huge their burgers are -- and how much a burger/fries/drink combo could cost.
I waddled back to the car and made my way to the hotel. I opted for South Point this time -- off the Strip, relatively quiet. I used a bath bomb I'd gotten at one of the MGM Grand shops and relaxed for a bit.
I was determined to hit Fremont Street -- a downtown, almost fairground-like area that's home to several of the oldschool casinos -- but I was too tired and not enough of a party spirit to properly enjoy it. I was also a bit tummyaching, but it was mild enough that I couldn't exactly tell if it was nausea or hunger, so I went in search of dinner.
I headed to the Peppermill (a restaurant with an adjacent firepit-centric lounge where several tv shows and movies have been filmed, like Scorsese's Casino). I ordered a salad, thinking that was light enough to satisfy my hunger, if that was what it was, but not upset a tummyache, if that was what it was. What they brought me was like no salad I had ever seen -- a giant dome with lettuce in the middle and the toppings comprising an outer "crust" that I had to break through. There was no way to properly eat this thing. After eating about half of it, I resigned myself to returning to the hotel and slept pretty hard.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5
At the suggestion of a friend, I had breakfast the next morning at The Cracked Egg, and once I'd found it, it was one of the best meals I had.
This should have been a relaxing day, but I'd made plans for at least three or four things, the first of which was KISS mini-golf at the Rio. This was a BLAST, even though I was a lackluster golfer. I couldn't even get the ball up Gene Simmons' tongue for the last shot like I was supposed to, but it was a cool attraction nonetheless. I'm glad I went early, so I didn't have to worry about people waiting behind me.
I had a rather annoying experience on my way out of the mall. A woman at a skin care boutique handed me a free sample, which I refused at first until she insisted. She then cajoled me into coming into the shop, which I was very reluctant to do, but I had a little time to kill before my next thing, and I didn't fully understand what she was dragging me inside to do. I then was subjected to a collagen demo, which would have been fine if not for the pressurized hard-sell from the guy giving it to me. Sorry, dude, I don't have $200 to spend on skin care stuff right now.
My next stop was the Strip Gun Club, which I'd made reservations at a few months before. I got the idea from one of Casey Neistat's videos (I went to the same place) and I was genuinely interested in seeing what it was like to fire a gun. I went for their "pistol package" - the second cheapest package they offered, which was still pretty pricey, but I figured it was somewhat worth it to have an experienced person behind me, making sure I was safe. I was to have my ear protection on the whole time, because there were other people shooting in the same area (the guy next to me, at one point, fired what I could only surmise was a small cannon, given how LOUD it was).
I did pretty well, marksmanship-wise, especially given that it was my first try. I got two shots (well, one and a half) in the centermost section. I have no reference for the various types of guns, so I literally picked ones I'd heard of from movies. I fired a 9mm Glock, a .357 Magnum, and a .44 Magnum, plus a couple more I can't remember. The .44 was by far the one I had the easiest time and best results with. The .357 was scary, and I knew it would be -- the lady supervising me told me it was a pretty serious kick, but that it wasn't anything I couldn't handle, but I still remembered CJ Cregg getting knocked off her feet firing one on The West Wing. Thankfully, that did not happen to me, though it was impossible to keep my hand from jerking up a little when I fired it.
After punching through all the ammo I'd paid to use, and buying a souvenir mesh tractor cap, I went to the Aria hotel for lunch at Javier's. I chose this place purely for the decor, but they had delicious high-end Mexican food and made a mean mango margarita. I popped by the Bellagio for their famous gelato, but the servings were larger than I remembered and I got too much. I'd intended to make one more stop at the Cosmopolitan hotel, but I was out of time and had to get the rental car back.
I scheduled to return the car a day before leaving Vegas, reasoning that it would be less stressful and I wouldn't feel so much pressure to Do Stuff on my last day (allowing me a chance to wind down and actually rest at least once on my vacation). It didn't *quite* work, but I'm still glad I didn't have to fool with it on my way out of town.
I took a Lyft back to hotel, and I'm now strongly considering not renting a car at all the next time I'm in Vegas; Lyft/Uber is just so *easy* and not that expensive. I tried to take a nap, but since this was the first morning in a few days that I *hadn't* woken up before dawn, I wasn't that tired. I fooled around on the internet until just after dark, and donned my swimsuit for a trip to the pool. This was the most relaxed I was for the whole trip, and I loved seeing the other-worldly shade of blue the sky turns to out there in the first hour or so after sunset. Eventually, I didn't want to leave the pool because it felt bizarrely COLD. I did manage to get out, though, and took a shower before heading to the Strip one last time.
Dinner was at Battista's Hole in the Wall, a not-so-glamorous Italian place that's a short walk from the LINQ. There were very loud people in the room I'd been seated in, but the lasagna was yummy and the salad reminiscent of Olive Garden (in other words, delicious). I stopped by the Cheesecake Factory to pick up a slice of cheesecake to-go and then made my way to the High Roller, which was open this time. There was a tiny bit of drama about my pass, which had expired, but I explained the situation and got a new paper ticket without much fuss. I also got a cocktail to enjoy on my trip.
The High Roller was lovely, and I was glad it was not more crowded than it was, because there were a couple of annoying parties in my group -- notably, a couple who were making out the whole time and hogging part of the view without looking at it themselves. One of the most unsettling parts of the ride is when I would look down at my phone for a minute and look back up at a slightly different view. It also felt a bit uneasy going over the top, even though I knew we weren't going to even lean the slightest bit.
I had one last stop to make before Lyft-ing back to South Point. As I'd missed the Cosmopolitan earlier, I wanted to get up there before I left. Not to see the casino or shops -- I'd seen plenty of both. No, the Cosmopolitan has among its decor several repurposed cigarette vending machines. You put in $5, pull the lever, and get a piece of art. You don't know what you're going to get, but you choose from some samples and get something from the same artist.
[I didn't take a picture of what I got from the machine, which was a little sculpture.]
When I got back to the hotel, I tried to enjoy my cheesecake, but I wasn't feeling well (again), so I could only handle one bite. I saved it in hopes that I could enjoy more of it in the morning before heading to the airport.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 6
After a mostly good night's sleep, I did not care the slightest bit about getting to the airport two hours early. I took my time packing and was able to enjoy about half of the previous night's cheesecake for "breakfast."
I worried about sufficient space, since I had purchased a few things and had my Schuyler Sisters pillow to tow, but it seemed like I had *less* than I did when I flew in.
I had a very friendly Lyft driver and we chatted about how real Las Vegas-ites love it when it rains. I got through security and went to where my gate was *supposed* to be, but whoops, the gate had changed, and I should have been on a completely different concourse. So I booked it to the correct gate, thankful all the while for moving platforms, and was glad to have missed most of the pre-boarding herding.
Usually when I come back from a trip, I don't bother taking that night off from work, but I was very glad I decided differently this time and gave myself the night to sleep and come down from the travel high. I consider this trip a great success. There were of course more things I could have done, but given my time constraints and the physical challenges of Traveling While Overweight, I think I did remarkably well.