You're gonna be bothered by how cool I am.

I Spit On Your Grave is the best movie EVER!



The ingenious and highly plausible plot! The rich characterization! The graphic rape scenes! The bathtub castration! Dare I go on? This movie is a MUST-SEE. Pull up a bucket of beer and some hot dogs (no other meal will do for this movie) and enjoy!

Oh, and did I mention the clever and witty dialogue? No? Well, here are some of the finer examples:

Johnny [after his gang beats and rapes the movie's heroine]: "Total submission. That's what I like in a woman - total submission."

Johnny: [groans] "That feels so good, it kinda hurts!"

and my all-time favorite...

Matthew: "I can't come when you're watching me!"

This is writing and filmmaking at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. And it's now on DVD so that it's brilliance can come through with even greater clarity!

I Spit On Your Grave is the best movie EVER!



The ingenious and highly plausible plot! The rich characterization! The graphic rape scenes! The bathtub castration! Dare I go on? This movie is a MUST-SEE. Pull up a bucket of beer and some hot dogs (no other meal will do for this movie) and enjoy!

Oh, and did I mention the clever and witty dialogue? No? Well, here are some of the finer examples:

Johnny [after his gang beats and rapes the movie's heroine]: "Total submission. That's what I like in a woman - total submission."

Johnny: [groans] "That feels so good, it kinda hurts!"

and my all-time favorite...

Matthew: "I can't come when you're watching me!"

This is writing and filmmaking at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. And it's now on DVD so that it's brilliance can come through with even greater clarity!

I hope everyone who saw it realizes that this entry was part of the April Fool's festivities. For the record, I believe that I Spit On Your Grave is one of the worst travesties ever imposed on celluloid. It doesn't say much for a film when the only reason anyone wants to see it is for the big castration scene. Ngyah! Nonetheless, I'd be interested to see how it would play with the BNAT crowd. ;)

SIN CITY, on the other hand, is one of those movies that makes you walk differently when you leave the theater. I'm not familiar at all with Frank Miller's graphic novel, but I reallyreallyreally liked Rodriguez's film. It looks great, it sounds great, and it has that cool Tarantino-esque structure where it's not quite in chronological order and tells three or four different stories back-to-back. There are lots and lots of really great actors in it - Michael Madsen, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Nick Stahl, Benicio Del Toro, Rutger Hauer, and Elijah Wood (as a stealthy and remarkably creepy cannibalistic killer). There isn't really a main character, but a big hunk of the movie belongs to Mickey Rourke (*pauses to remember the hotness of Rourke in 9 1/2 Weeks*), who really does a great job and pretty much owns the film. I suppose a guy would have more to say than I do about the women in the film, but I will say that I found Brittany Murphy much more tolerable than usual. :P Anyway, it's a super-cool movie, and if you have a strong stomach, I highly recommend it.

And I actually got to be with a decent audience this time. There were only a dozen or so of them, but they reacted in all the right places.

In other news, I've enjoyed the HEX out of all the April Fool's gags, but I'm kind of glad it's over now. I'm tired. :)

I hope everyone who saw it realizes that this entry was part of the April Fool's festivities. For the record, I believe that I Spit On Your Grave is one of the worst travesties ever imposed on celluloid. It doesn't say much for a film when the only reason anyone wants to see it is for the big castration scene. Ngyah! Nonetheless, I'd be interested to see how it would play with the BNAT crowd. ;)

SIN CITY, on the other hand, is one of those movies that makes you walk differently when you leave the theater. I'm not familiar at all with Frank Miller's graphic novel, but I reallyreallyreally liked Rodriguez's film. It looks great, it sounds great, and it has that cool Tarantino-esque structure where it's not quite in chronological order and tells three or four different stories back-to-back. There are lots and lots of really great actors in it - Michael Madsen, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Nick Stahl, Benicio Del Toro, Rutger Hauer, and Elijah Wood (as a stealthy and remarkably creepy cannibalistic killer). There isn't really a main character, but a big hunk of the movie belongs to Mickey Rourke (*pauses to remember the hotness of Rourke in 9 1/2 Weeks*), who really does a great job and pretty much owns the film. I suppose a guy would have more to say than I do about the women in the film, but I will say that I found Brittany Murphy much more tolerable than usual. :P Anyway, it's a super-cool movie, and if you have a strong stomach, I highly recommend it.

And I actually got to be with a decent audience this time. There were only a dozen or so of them, but they reacted in all the right places.

In other news, I've enjoyed the HEX out of all the April Fool's gags, but I'm kind of glad it's over now. I'm tired. :)