You're gonna be bothered by how cool I am.

I just got back from seeing the infinitely inferior remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's okay, but the original (surprise, surprise) is so much better. The new one is too clean and there's way too much music. It tries to be the original, but it falls prey to the slick, overly-dramatic cliches that have plagued the horror genre since the 1980s.

When they first announced they were doing the remake, I remember Michael Bay (producer) saying that it would be less gory than the original, which said to me that the film would either be rated PG or (more likely) Michael Bay didn't know what the heck he was talking about. The latter turns out to have been true. It's much gorier than the original, and I feel like they went a little heavy on the meat metaphor. And there are way too many jump-out-of-your-seat moments as opposed to the original which built the tension slowly, leaving you with this immense uneasiness instead of going for the cheap scare. This remake is full of cheap scares, including the laughable cameo of Harry Knowles' head.

To add insult to injury, though, they bookended the movie with this Blair Witch style docu-footage, in a rather lame effort to make the audience believe this was a true story. I guess this seems like I'm really dumping on the movie, but it wasn't bad. Just not as good as the original, which I watched again last night, and which set me up for inevitable disappointment. The old Chainsaw seemed a lot less like a movie and more like you were really watching all this actually happening.

Anywho, for those who might be disturbed by my "eyes" icon, I'm using it for the last time. One good thing about the moviegoing experience this afternoon, though - I got to see that wonderful Return of the King trailer again. The shot of Eomer weeping on the battlefield just kills me (also the brief Aragorn/Eowyn moment . . . *melts*).

I just got back from seeing the infinitely inferior remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's okay, but the original (surprise, surprise) is so much better. The new one is too clean and there's way too much music. It tries to be the original, but it falls prey to the slick, overly-dramatic cliches that have plagued the horror genre since the 1980s.

When they first announced they were doing the remake, I remember Michael Bay (producer) saying that it would be less gory than the original, which said to me that the film would either be rated PG or (more likely) Michael Bay didn't know what the heck he was talking about. The latter turns out to have been true. It's much gorier than the original, and I feel like they went a little heavy on the meat metaphor. And there are way too many jump-out-of-your-seat moments as opposed to the original which built the tension slowly, leaving you with this immense uneasiness instead of going for the cheap scare. This remake is full of cheap scares, including the laughable cameo of Harry Knowles' head.

To add insult to injury, though, they bookended the movie with this Blair Witch style docu-footage, in a rather lame effort to make the audience believe this was a true story. I guess this seems like I'm really dumping on the movie, but it wasn't bad. Just not as good as the original, which I watched again last night, and which set me up for inevitable disappointment. The old Chainsaw seemed a lot less like a movie and more like you were really watching all this actually happening.

Anywho, for those who might be disturbed by my "eyes" icon, I'm using it for the last time. One good thing about the moviegoing experience this afternoon, though - I got to see that wonderful Return of the King trailer again. The shot of Eomer weeping on the battlefield just kills me (also the brief Aragorn/Eowyn moment . . . *melts*).